Saturday, April 16, 2011

Disorienting Low and a Car

I had a doozy of a low this week. It has been a LONG time since I got low and felt out of control. When I was younger I had some lows that had me begging for help or caused amnesia, but it really has been years. Now, I usually get low, feel it, drink a juice and move along or more often than not my CGM catches me as I fall.

This week I have been dropping a lot. Don't know why, hormones or absence of them, who knows, but Thursday my CGM was giving me alarms about predicted lows and I was in full work mode. Trying to solve a problem and I just wouldn't stop until I had it fixed. The CGM was reading 70 and I really should know better, that 70 probably means 50, but I didn't stop to take care of myself.

On a mission, I drove home from work to pick up my daughter from school, dropped her off at the house and headed to the computer store to buy a cable. I had a problem to solve and I needed that damn cable.

In the car, I felt so out of sorts. Despondent, anxious, weird, but not so obviously that I recognized what was happening. I had been having a hard week, really under pressure and I was thinking to myself that maybe this feeling I had was a new normal. That I'd feel this way forever. It was weird.

I got to the store and I asked if this cable would fix my issues and they showed me the package and pointed to the info I needed, but I couldn't read it or focus and just asked them to be sure this is what I needed.

I got home (THANK GOD), sat down at the table with my hubby, pulled out my blood sugar kit and I was 37. I looked at the meter and said, "Wow...37." My man got me a juice box and I drank it, but as I sat there I felt strongly that I was supposed to be doing something. I asked him, "Am I supposed to be dong anything?" He said, no. Quiet. I asked if he was sure and he replied yes. Quiet. I said, "I am just supposed to sit here?" He said yes and so I sat there, waiting for the juice to hit.

This is the first time I can remember since I was in my 20s that I was actually "disoriented." I really didn't have a clue what was going on. My CGM was still saying 70, so it was just a little off (HA!), but I somehow instinctively got out my kit.

I am so grateful for adrenaline when I was on the road. Without that, I could have met a very sad and disoriented end.